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[NOTSO NEWS] PSA: New Obamacare Taxes
PSA: New taxes to be implemented under...
GOODGRIP EXPANDS GROPING CHECKPOINTS NATIONWIDE
The Groping Almost Everyone (GAE) TSA announced that it would be establishing ‘groping...
PSA: Dept. of Transportation announces car ban
DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION ANNOUNCES CAR...
China to serve US with foreclosure notice
China to serve US with foreclosure notice Originally published 10.30.2011 Beijing, PRC The...
PSA: The MBT [Minimum Breathing Tax]
Upcoming PSA: The MBT: Minimum Breathing Tax Brought to you by HHS, SCOTUS & ACA Breathing can be fun,...
SCOTUS Rules National Anthem Misleading
SCOTUS Rules National Anthem Misleading Washington In a stunning turn of events, The Supreme Court has...
Boehner Axes House Pages
Boehner Axes House Pages | Originally Published 8.10.2011 | Washington House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) was...
BREAKING NEWS: CONSTITUTION PRONOUNCED DOA
BREAKING NEWS: CONSTITUTION PRONOUNCED DOA WASHINGTON Our condolences to the American people. By a 5...
President launches SHAM bus tour
President launches SHAM bus tour | Originally Published 10.18.2011 | Asheville, NC President Obama on Monday...
On the Road Again: Bam bam chatting with the common folks
On the Road Again: Chatting with the common folks | Originally Published 10.19.2011 | North Carolina So I...
WARNING: If you are easily offended
WARNING If you’ve been offended once by something we’ve posted about a Democrat, Republican,...
PSA: National Man-thong Day at the airport
National Man-thong Day at the airport Washington Act up now! Do your part to end TSA groping one long slinky...
PSA: National Burka Day at the Airport
National Burka Day at the Airport! Washington Act up now! Do your part to end TSA groping one long all...
Rare Show of Bipartisanship in Washington: Bill to Create Agency ...
Rare Show of Bipartisanship in Washington: Bill to Create Agency for Walking Washington In spite of their...
A Day in the Life
A Day in the Life White House As part of our ongoing coverage of the WH under the 44th POTUS: I recently sat...
President attends First National Church ground breaking ceremony
President attends First National Church of the One ground breaking ceremony in Washington: Announces...
China to Swap $1T in Debt for State of Florida
China to Swap $1T in Debt for State of Florida: US Negotiators try to find 3rd country host for Gov. Rick...
Headlines: Tax Increases, Vitter Admonished, GOP Race, Windmills
Headlines: Tax Increases, Vitter Admonished, GOP Race, Windmills President Obama hits replay and demands...
WARNING: Cranial Submersion Virus outbreak
WARNING: Cranial Submersion Virus outbreak Atlanta WARNING: The CDC just announced an outbreak of Cranial...
Obama Autopen Missing: Lost Bills found
Obama Autopen Missing: Lost Bills found Washington The White House confirmed rumours today that the...
Obama Hands White House keys to Putin, Goes Golfing
Obama Hands White House keys to Putin, Goes Golfing: Tells Russian President to “Be sure to turn the lights...
GOP at a crossroad [Political Ad]
A View: GOP at a crossroad [Political Ad] The Republican Party is at a crossroads. And we have been down...
Team Jihad gets $750k Soccer Stadium at Camp GITMO
Team Jihad gets $750k Soccer Stadium at Camp GITMO: Admiral declares Indefinite Detention is...
President pardons US servicemen from upcoming Koran burning trial...
President pardons US servicemen from upcoming Koran burning trials: Others to face arson charges Bagram,...
First Lady proposes Shopping Stimulus to improve economy
First Lady proposes Shopping Stimulus to improve economy New York Queen First Lady Michelle Obama, in a...
Christian Riots spread to Catcall, SD
Christian Riots spread to Catcall, SD: President to offer apology for Afghan burnings Catcall,...
Obama: East Asia Apology Tour planned
Japanese Government reconsiders Obama offer: East Asia Apology Tour planned Tokyo In light of recent...
President Obama to enter not guilty plea in Voter Fraud trial
President Obama to enter not guilty plea in Voter Fraud trial Chicago, Illinois President Barack Obama...
Christians riot in Bear Falls, Iowa
Afghan President apologizes for Bible burnings: Christians riot in Bear Falls, Iowa Kabul,...
President tells the underemployed: “You’ve never had ...
President tells the underemployed: “You’ve never had it so good.” Scranton, OH President...
Every breath you take: President unveils plan to solve budget cri...
Every breath you take: President unveils plan to solve budget crisis Washington The Administration announced...
April Comes Early: President announces balanced budget plan
April Comes Early: President announces balanced budget plan Washington President Barack Obama demanded...
“The Bacchanal” to officially be unveiled at the Whit...
“The Bacchanal” to officially be unveiled at the White House Washington The world renowned...
Poll: Severely Conservative?
Poll: Severely Conservative 62/38 Washington A poll out today by the WMIUAWGA Institute reveals: 62%...
Obama announces new contraception policy..
Obama announces new contraception policy: Contraception fairy to pay the bill Washington In a surprising...
Obama Administration institutes Operation Exodus
Government institutes Operation Exodus: Bending the cost curve downward by deporting senior...
President asked himself and answered the age old question: WWJD
President asked himself and answered the age old question: WWJD Washington Obama was quoted earlier today as...
Carney blames POTUS’s snafu on “W”
Carney blames POTUS’s snafu on W: “It’s just another example of W messing things...
Third Parties: The Next Big Thing in 2012
Third Parties: The Next Big Thing in 2012 New York, New York The entry of potential third party candidates...
White House Claim Bush’s Numbers Can Be Beaten
White House Defends Poll Numbers: Claim Bush’s Numbers Can Be Beaten Washington, DC The White House is...
Ignorance Prevention Act of 2012 (IPA)
Ignorance Prevention Act of 2012 (IPA): The President’s Solution to A Difficult...
Free Drone Welcoming Committee meets…
Free Drone Welcoming Committee meets. Plans larger Reverse Engineering Convention in early 2012. Tehran,...
McCain to introduce LIMP bill. Declares: “Less is more....
McCain to introduce LIMP bill. Declares: “Less is more.” Washington McCain to introduce bill...
President Obama gives Mullahs $6M “love offering.”
President Obama gives Mullahs $6M “love offering.” Washington On Wednesday the President...
McCain: “When it comes to rights, less is more.”
McCain: “When it comes to rights, less is more.” Washington Comrades Senators Levin, McCain and...
Civil Liberties group calls for a National Burka Day at the Airpo...
Washington Civil Liberties group calls for a National Burka Day at the Airport. ACT UP NOW encourages...
Kyoto Strain leads to outbreak of sanity in Canada: Nation decide...
In what may prove to have worldwide implications, an outbreak of sanity struck Canada Monday as that nation...
Pay to Play: NYC installs Service Industry Counters (SIC)
New York City, NY In a bold effort to enhance combat massive overspending deficits, governments at every...
Justice Department Quashes Investigation into Trillion Dollar Pon...
Washington The Justice Department has reportedly quashed an investigation...
White House: Protecting American Workers From Unfair Foreign Com...
Washington, DC The Administration reiterated its commitment to getting...
President’s Economic Recovery Plan: Borrowing to Prosperity
Washington Reports from Washington are that part of the President’s V5.0 economic recovery package...
Welcome to SMART
Washington I met with a new batch of recruits for my Elite Truth Squad. I said “Welcome to SMART, my...
A Tale of Legos
Philadelphia, PA I met with a voters group in Phillie today. I said “What do mean you’re not...
A meeting with the staff
Washington I hate sitting between Joe and Richey’s brother Bill, especially since Richey’s...
The President Should Win Nobel Prize in Advanced Economics
The Nobel Prize Committee announced its intentions to nominate...
Headline Roundup (2011)
A collection of headlines from upcoming ThirdRailers stories & actual “news” with a...
GOP Debate: What happens in Vegas…
Las Vegas, NV The game show themed GOP Presidential debate in Las Vegas ended in a three way fistfight...
Vice President reaches out to future voters
York, PA Joe was discussing issues with our constituents in York, PA, today. Joe said “Hey, kids....
#OCCUPYCONGRESS – NOV.2ND – BRING VOTERS (PSA)
#OCCUPYCONGRESS – NOV.2ND – BRING VOTERS (PSA) We’re not sure if there...
United States of Michelin?
Washington, DC In a sign of the seriousness of the current US economic...
China Called and It Wants Its Money Back
Beijing, People’s Republic of China Vice President Joe Biden, in China as part of a three nation East...
Obama: What We Need is Confrontation
Obama: What We Need is Confrontation Washington, DC President Barack Obama today...
Who’s not running for President today.
In an effort to help the voters keep track of who’s announced that they’re not running for...
CRASS: Federal Reserve to acquire new tool in economic arsenal
New York City, NY In a bold move to help it monitor opposition better...
Pelosi talks Super Committee; President Announces BS (Buffett Ser...
Washington, D.C. House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) told reporters in a briefing today that...
Blackmail: How Uncle Sam Gets the AAA Credit Rating He Deserves
Washington, DC In an effort to coerce analysts at Moody’s and Fitch...
Obama Administration launches Civic Responsibility & Account...
Washington The Obama 2012 campaign Administration recently launched the Civic Responsibility &...
President to be Honored with Nation’s Highest Award
Washington A Joint Session of Congress will convene on September 8, 2011 to bestow the nation’s...
Tea Time?: Hoffa declares intent to take Tea Partiers out…
Detroit, Michigan In the spirit of bitterness and division compromise and conciliation, Teamster’s...
President Calls a Mulligan: Demands “Do-Over” on Vaca...
Vineyard Haven, MA Battered by bad weather, earthquakes, civil war rumblings from North Africa, murder...
O – Day: President Launches Bus Tour Across Midwest
Cannon, Minnesota President Obama’s Spreading Whats Left of the...
Obama: “Spreading What’s Left of the Wealth Around...
Washington, D.C. - President Obama’s planned campaign bus tour...
A Moment of Silence for the GOP 7
Charleston, SC The presidential ambitions of seven Republican candidates...
Perry’s In, Romney’s Out and Obama is Making Post-Pre...
Charleston, SC The great Texas boot that loomed over the GOP field...
Debates: Minnesota Slugfest Comes to Iowa
Ames, Iowa Unlike the previous GOP Presidential debate, this was no...
Pelosi Picks Her Revenue Enhancers for Super Committee
Washington, DC House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, (D-CA),...






