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PSA: Obamacronium discovered

Washington  

PSA:  Obamacronium discovered
Nov 16, 2012 | Peter J. Barnes, Notso News Editor

[NOTSO NEWS] PSA: New Obamacare Taxes

PSA:  New taxes to be implemented under...

[NOTSO NEWS] PSA: New Obamacare Taxes
Sep 20, 2012 | Peter J. Barnes, Notso News Editor

GOODGRIP EXPANDS GROPING CHECKPOINTS NATIONWIDE

The Groping Almost Everyone (GAE) TSA announced that it would be establishing ‘groping...

GOODGRIP EXPANDS GROPING CHECKPOINTS NATIONWIDE
Sep 18, 2012 | Madeleine Lewis, National Correspondent

PSA: Dept. of Transportation announces car ban

DEPARTMENT OF TRANSPORTATION ANNOUNCES CAR...

PSA:  Dept. of Transportation announces car ban
Sep 13, 2012 | T.G. Madison, Managing Editor

China to serve US with foreclosure notice

China to serve US with foreclosure notice  Originally published 10.30.2011     Beijing, PRC The...

China to serve US with foreclosure notice
Aug 9, 2012 | Madeleine Lewis, National Correspondent

PSA: The MBT [Minimum Breathing Tax]

Upcoming PSA: The MBT: Minimum Breathing Tax Brought to you by HHS, SCOTUS & ACA Breathing can be fun,...

PSA:  The MBT [Minimum Breathing Tax]
Jun 30, 2012 | T.G. Madison, Managing Editor

SCOTUS Rules National Anthem Misleading

‎ SCOTUS Rules National Anthem Misleading Washington In a stunning turn of events, The Supreme Court has...

SCOTUS Rules National Anthem Misleading
Jun 28, 2012 | sosmith, Contributing Malcontent

Boehner Axes House Pages

Boehner Axes House Pages | Originally Published 8.10.2011 | Washington House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) was...

Boehner Axes House Pages
Jun 28, 2012 | Madeleine Lewis, National Correspondent

BREAKING NEWS: CONSTITUTION PRONOUNCED DOA

BREAKING NEWS:  CONSTITUTION PRONOUNCED DOA WASHINGTON Our condolences to the American people. By a 5...

BREAKING NEWS:  CONSTITUTION PRONOUNCED DOA
Jun 28, 2012 | T.G. Madison, Managing Editor

President launches SHAM bus tour

President launches SHAM bus tour | Originally Published 10.18.2011 | Asheville, NC President Obama on Monday...

President launches SHAM bus tour
Jun 28, 2012 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

On the Road Again: Bam bam chatting with the common folks

On the Road Again: Chatting with the common folks | Originally Published 10.19.2011 | North Carolina So I...

On the Road Again: Bam bam chatting with the common folks
Jun 27, 2012 | Harrison J. Bounel, Special Contributor

WARNING: If you are easily offended

WARNING If you’ve been offended once by something we’ve posted about a Democrat, Republican,...

WARNING:  If you are easily offended
Jun 21, 2012 | Peter J. Barnes, Notso News Editor

PSA: National Man-thong Day at the airport

National Man-thong Day at the airport Washington Act up now! Do your part to end TSA groping one long slinky...

PSA: National Man-thong Day at the airport
Jun 20, 2012 | Peter J. Barnes, Notso News Editor

PSA: National Burka Day at the Airport

National Burka Day at the Airport! Washington Act up now! Do your part to end TSA groping one long all...

PSA: National Burka Day at the Airport
Jun 20, 2012 | Peter J. Barnes, Notso News Editor

Rare Show of Bipartisanship in Washington: Bill to Create Agency ...

Rare Show of Bipartisanship in Washington: Bill to Create Agency for Walking Washington In spite of their...

Rare Show of Bipartisanship in Washington: Bill to Create Agency for Walking
Jun 14, 2012 | Madeleine Lewis, National Correspondent

A Day in the Life

A Day in the Life White House As part of our ongoing coverage of the WH under the 44th POTUS: I recently sat...

A Day in the Life
Jun 9, 2012 | T.G. Madison, Managing Editor

President attends First National Church ground breaking ceremony

President  attends First National Church of the One ground breaking ceremony in Washington: Announces...

President attends First National Church ground breaking ceremony
Jun 9, 2012 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

China to Swap $1T in Debt for State of Florida

China to Swap $1T in Debt for State of Florida: US Negotiators try to find 3rd country host for Gov. Rick...

China to Swap $1T in Debt for State of Florida
Jun 8, 2012 | Madeleine Lewis, National Correspondent

Headlines: Tax Increases, Vitter Admonished, GOP Race, Windmills

Headlines: Tax Increases, Vitter Admonished, GOP Race, Windmills President Obama hits replay and demands...

Headlines: Tax Increases, Vitter Admonished, GOP Race, Windmills
Mar 31, 2012 | Peter J. Barnes, Notso News Editor

WARNING: Cranial Submersion Virus outbreak

WARNING:  Cranial Submersion Virus outbreak Atlanta WARNING: The CDC just announced an outbreak of Cranial...

WARNING:  Cranial Submersion Virus outbreak
Mar 31, 2012 | Madeleine Lewis, National Correspondent

Obama Autopen Missing: Lost Bills found

Obama Autopen Missing: Lost Bills found Washington The White House confirmed rumours today that the...

Obama Autopen Missing: Lost Bills found
Mar 10, 2012 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

Obama Hands White House keys to Putin, Goes Golfing

Obama Hands White House keys to Putin, Goes Golfing: Tells Russian President to “Be sure to turn the lights...

Obama Hands White House keys to Putin, Goes Golfing
Mar 9, 2012 | Dakota Streeter, Reporter at Large

GOP at a crossroad [Political Ad]

A View:  GOP at a crossroad [Political Ad] The Republican Party is at a crossroads. And we have been down...

GOP at a crossroad [Political Ad]
Mar 7, 2012 | Sal Gigante Jr., Editor at Large

Team Jihad gets $750k Soccer Stadium at Camp GITMO

Team Jihad gets $750k Soccer Stadium at Camp GITMO:  Admiral declares Indefinite Detention is...

Team Jihad gets $750k Soccer Stadium at Camp GITMO
Mar 2, 2012 | Madeleine Lewis, National Correspondent

President pardons US servicemen from upcoming Koran burning trial...

President pardons US servicemen from upcoming Koran burning trials: Others to face arson charges Bagram,...

President pardons US servicemen from upcoming Koran burning trials
Mar 2, 2012 | Meagan Xen, International Correspondent

First Lady proposes Shopping Stimulus to improve economy

First Lady proposes Shopping Stimulus to improve economy New York Queen First Lady Michelle Obama, in a...

First Lady proposes Shopping Stimulus to improve economy
Feb 28, 2012 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

Christian Riots spread to Catcall, SD

Christian Riots spread to Catcall, SD:  President to offer apology for Afghan burnings Catcall,...

Christian Riots spread to Catcall, SD
Feb 26, 2012 | Madeleine Lewis, National Correspondent

Obama: East Asia Apology Tour planned

Japanese Government reconsiders Obama offer:  East Asia Apology Tour planned Tokyo In light of recent...

Obama:  East Asia Apology Tour planned
Feb 25, 2012 | Meagan Xen, International Correspondent

President Obama to enter not guilty plea in Voter Fraud trial

President Obama to enter not guilty plea in Voter Fraud trial Chicago, Illinois President Barack Obama...

President Obama to enter not guilty plea in Voter Fraud trial
Feb 24, 2012 | Sal Gigante Jr., Editor at Large

Christians riot in Bear Falls, Iowa

Afghan President apologizes for Bible burnings: Christians riot in Bear Falls, Iowa Kabul,...

Christians riot in Bear Falls, Iowa
Feb 24, 2012 | Madeleine Lewis, National Correspondent

President tells the underemployed: “You’ve never had ...

President tells the underemployed: “You’ve never had it so good.” Scranton, OH President...

President tells the underemployed: “You’ve never had it so good.”
Feb 17, 2012 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

Every breath you take: President unveils plan to solve budget cri...

Every breath you take: President unveils plan to solve budget crisis Washington The Administration announced...

Every breath you take: President unveils plan to solve budget crisis
Feb 16, 2012 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

April Comes Early: President announces balanced budget plan

April Comes Early: President announces balanced budget plan Washington President Barack Obama demanded...

April Comes Early: President announces balanced budget plan
Feb 14, 2012 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

“The Bacchanal” to officially be unveiled at the Whit...

“The Bacchanal” to officially be unveiled at the White House Washington The world renowned...

“The Bacchanal” to officially be unveiled at the White House
Feb 12, 2012 | Harper Nast, Entertainment Editor

Poll: Severely Conservative?

Poll: Severely Conservative 62/38 Washington A poll out today by the WMIUAWGA Institute reveals:   62%...

Poll: Severely Conservative?
Feb 11, 2012 | Peter J. Barnes, Notso News Editor

Obama announces new contraception policy..

Obama announces new contraception policy: Contraception fairy to pay the bill Washington In a surprising...

Obama announces new contraception policy..
Feb 11, 2012 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

Obama Administration institutes Operation Exodus

Government institutes Operation Exodus: Bending the cost curve downward by deporting senior...

Obama Administration institutes Operation Exodus
Feb 11, 2012 | Sal Gigante Jr., Editor at Large

President asked himself and answered the age old question: WWJD

President asked himself and answered the age old question: WWJD Washington Obama was quoted earlier today as...

President asked himself and answered the age old question: WWJD
Feb 5, 2012 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

Carney blames POTUS’s snafu on “W”

Carney blames POTUS’s snafu on W: “It’s just another example of W messing things...

Carney blames POTUS’s snafu on “W”
Feb 5, 2012 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

Third Parties: The Next Big Thing in 2012

Third Parties:  The Next Big Thing in 2012 New York, New York The entry of potential third party candidates...

Third Parties:  The Next Big Thing in 2012
Jan 4, 2012 | Jeff Smith, Sr. Political Reporter

White House Claim Bush’s Numbers Can Be Beaten

White House Defends Poll Numbers: Claim Bush’s Numbers Can Be Beaten Washington, DC The White House is...

White House Claim Bush’s Numbers Can Be Beaten
Jan 2, 2012 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

Ignorance Prevention Act of 2012 (IPA)

Ignorance Prevention Act of 2012 (IPA): The President’s Solution to A Difficult...

Ignorance Prevention Act of 2012 (IPA)
Jan 2, 2012 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

Free Drone Welcoming Committee meets…

Free Drone Welcoming Committee meets.  Plans larger Reverse Engineering Convention in early 2012. Tehran,...

Free Drone Welcoming Committee meets…
Dec 20, 2011 | Meagan Xen, International Correspondent

McCain to introduce LIMP bill. Declares: “Less is more....

McCain to introduce LIMP bill.  Declares: “Less is more.” Washington McCain to introduce bill...

McCain to introduce LIMP bill.  Declares: “Less is more.”
Dec 20, 2011 | Madeleine Lewis, National Correspondent

President Obama gives Mullahs $6M “love offering.”

President Obama gives Mullahs $6M “love offering.” Washington On Wednesday the President...

President Obama gives Mullahs $6M “love offering.”
Dec 15, 2011 | Meagan Xen, International Correspondent

McCain: “When it comes to rights, less is more.”

McCain: “When it comes to rights, less is more.” Washington Comrades Senators Levin, McCain and...

McCain: “When it comes to rights, less is more.”
Dec 15, 2011 | Madeleine Lewis, National Correspondent

Civil Liberties group calls for a National Burka Day at the Airpo...

Washington Civil Liberties group calls for a National Burka Day at the Airport.   ACT UP NOW encourages...

Civil Liberties group calls for a National Burka Day at the Airport
Dec 13, 2011 | Peter J. Barnes, Notso News Editor

Kyoto Strain leads to outbreak of sanity in Canada: Nation decide...

In what may prove to have worldwide implications, an outbreak of sanity struck Canada Monday as that nation...

Kyoto Strain leads to outbreak of sanity in Canada: Nation decides too much Kyoto is not a good thing
Dec 13, 2011 | Meagan Xen, International Correspondent

Pay to Play: NYC installs Service Industry Counters (SIC)

New York City, NY In a bold effort to enhance combat massive overspending deficits, governments at every...

Pay to Play:  NYC installs Service Industry Counters (SIC)
Dec 10, 2011 | Madeleine Lewis, National Correspondent

Justice Department Quashes Investigation into Trillion Dollar Pon...

          Washington The Justice Department has reportedly quashed an investigation...

Justice Department Quashes Investigation into Trillion Dollar Ponzi Scheme
Nov 25, 2011 | Madeleine Lewis, National Correspondent

White House: Protecting American Workers From Unfair Foreign Com...

          Washington, DC The Administration reiterated its commitment to getting...

White House:  Protecting American Workers From Unfair Foreign Competition
Nov 22, 2011 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

President’s Economic Recovery Plan: Borrowing to Prosperity

Washington Reports from Washington are that part of the President’s V5.0 economic recovery package...

President’s Economic Recovery Plan: Borrowing to Prosperity
Nov 17, 2011 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

Welcome to SMART

Washington I met with a new batch of recruits for my Elite Truth Squad. I said “Welcome to SMART, my...

Welcome to SMART
Nov 11, 2011 | Harrison J. Bounel, Special Contributor

A Tale of Legos

Philadelphia, PA I met with a voters group in Phillie today. I said “What do mean you’re not...

A Tale of Legos
Nov 10, 2011 | Harrison J. Bounel, Special Contributor

A meeting with the staff

Washington I hate sitting between Joe and Richey’s brother Bill, especially since Richey’s...

A meeting with the staff
Nov 9, 2011 | Harrison J. Bounel, Special Contributor

The President Should Win Nobel Prize in Advanced Economics

            The Nobel Prize Committee announced its intentions to nominate...

The President Should Win Nobel Prize in Advanced Economics
Oct 30, 2011 | Peter J. Barnes, Notso News Editor

Headline Roundup (2011)

  A collection of headlines from upcoming ThirdRailers stories & actual “news” with a...

Headline Roundup (2011)
Oct 26, 2011 | Peter J. Barnes, Notso News Editor

GOP Debate: What happens in Vegas…

Las Vegas, NV The game show themed GOP Presidential debate in Las Vegas ended in a three way fistfight...

GOP Debate: What happens in Vegas…
Oct 19, 2011 | Jeff Smith, Sr. Political Reporter

Vice President reaches out to future voters

  York, PA Joe was discussing issues with our constituents in York, PA, today. Joe said “Hey, kids....

Vice President reaches out to future voters
Oct 18, 2011 | Harrison J. Bounel, Special Contributor

#OCCUPYCONGRESS – NOV.2ND – BRING VOTERS (PSA)

#OCCUPYCONGRESS – NOV.2ND – BRING VOTERS (PSA)     We’re not sure if there...

#OCCUPYCONGRESS – NOV.2ND – BRING VOTERS (PSA)
Oct 18, 2011 | Peter J. Barnes, Notso News Editor

United States of Michelin?

          Washington, DC In a sign of the seriousness of the current US economic...

United States of Michelin?
Oct 15, 2011 | Madeleine Lewis, National Correspondent

China Called and It Wants Its Money Back

Beijing, People’s Republic of China Vice President Joe Biden, in China as part of a three nation East...

China Called and It Wants Its Money Back
Oct 15, 2011 | Meagan Xen, International Correspondent

Obama: What We Need is Confrontation

Obama: What We Need is Confrontation Washington, DC         President Barack Obama today...

Obama: What We Need is Confrontation
Oct 13, 2011 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

Who’s not running for President today.

In an effort to help the voters keep track of who’s announced that they’re not running for...

Who’s not running for President today.
Oct 8, 2011 | Jeff Smith, Sr. Political Reporter

CRASS: Federal Reserve to acquire new tool in economic arsenal

          New York City, NY In a bold move to help it monitor opposition better...

CRASS: Federal Reserve to acquire new tool in economic arsenal
Sep 29, 2011 | Madeleine Lewis, National Correspondent

Pelosi talks Super Committee; President Announces BS (Buffett Ser...

Washington, D.C. House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) told reporters in a briefing today that...

Pelosi talks Super Committee; President Announces BS (Buffett Series) Tax Rule
Sep 20, 2011 | Madeleine Lewis, National Correspondent

Blackmail: How Uncle Sam Gets the AAA Credit Rating He Deserves

          Washington, DC In an effort to coerce analysts at Moody’s and Fitch...

Blackmail:  How Uncle Sam Gets the AAA Credit Rating He Deserves
Sep 19, 2011 | Madeleine Lewis, National Correspondent

Obama Administration launches Civic Responsibility & Account...

Washington The Obama 2012 campaign Administration recently launched the Civic Responsibility &...

Obama Administration launches Civic Responsibility & Accountability Service
Sep 15, 2011 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

President to be Honored with Nation’s Highest Award

Washington A Joint Session of Congress will convene on September 8, 2011 to bestow the nation’s...

President to be Honored with Nation’s Highest Award
Sep 8, 2011 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

Tea Time?: Hoffa declares intent to take Tea Partiers out…

Detroit, Michigan In the spirit of bitterness and division compromise and conciliation, Teamster’s...

Tea Time?: Hoffa declares intent to take Tea Partiers out…
Sep 7, 2011 | Madeleine Lewis, National Correspondent

President Calls a Mulligan: Demands “Do-Over” on Vaca...

Vineyard Haven, MA Battered by bad weather, earthquakes, civil war rumblings from North Africa, murder...

President Calls a Mulligan: Demands “Do-Over” on Vacation
Aug 27, 2011 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

O – Day: President Launches Bus Tour Across Midwest

          Cannon, Minnesota President Obama’s Spreading Whats Left of the...

O – Day: President Launches Bus Tour Across Midwest
Aug 16, 2011 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

Obama: “Spreading What’s Left of the Wealth Around...

          Washington, D.C. - President Obama’s planned campaign bus tour...

Obama: “Spreading What’s Left of the Wealth Around” Bus Tour 2011
Aug 14, 2011 | G.McKinley, Washington Bureau Chief

A Moment of Silence for the GOP 7

          Charleston, SC The presidential ambitions of seven Republican candidates...

A Moment of Silence for the GOP 7
Aug 14, 2011 | Jeff Smith, Sr. Political Reporter

Perry’s In, Romney’s Out and Obama is Making Post-Pre...

          Charleston, SC The great Texas boot that loomed over the GOP field...

Perry’s In, Romney’s Out and Obama is Making Post-Presidential Plans
Aug 14, 2011 | Jeff Smith, Sr. Political Reporter

Debates: Minnesota Slugfest Comes to Iowa

          Ames, Iowa Unlike the previous GOP Presidential debate, this was no...

Debates: Minnesota Slugfest Comes to Iowa
Aug 12, 2011 | Jeff Smith, Sr. Political Reporter

Pelosi Picks Her Revenue Enhancers for Super Committee

            Washington, DC House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, (D-CA),...

Pelosi Picks Her Revenue Enhancers for Super Committee
Aug 11, 2011 | Madeleine Lewis, National Correspondent